Everything
by citadelsushi
Summary: Avory Shepard and Kaidan Alenko the night before Ilos. Very mild smut, lots of feelings.


A/N: One of these days I'll get all of Avory and Kaidan's stories organized, but until then I hope you enjoy reading these little snippets of their story.

Comments always appreciated!  
Thank you for reading.

* * *

He's harder than she expected.

He laughs at the comment, credits his biotics for his leanness, neglecting to mention the countless hours she knows he spends in the _Normandy_ 's makeshift weight room. She smiles into the crook of his arm; leave it to Alenko to be unfailingly humble.

Her fingers are busy exploring the lines of his torso, her featherlight touch climbing every hill, dipping into every valley. She memorizes the spots that illicit a reaction; a husky giggle when she brushes the side of his ribs, a contented sigh when she drags her fingers through the patch of hair on his chest, a guttural moan when she follows the line of his abdomen down to his pubic bone. The sound sends a wave of chills crashing over her.

Through sheer force of will, she raises her hand, rests her palm on his chest, fingertips tracing invisible patterns through course hair, a distraction. A lump has already formed in her throat, a bolus she cannot swallow, a dam behind which her words pile up, threaten to choke her.

"So," she squeaks, silently curses herself, clears her throat, "what are our plans for shore leave?"

She can hear his heartbeat quicken, wave after distorted wave of blood flow, like the ocean in a sea shell. His arm tightens ever so slightly around her waist, pulls her closer.

"Our...I, uh, I guess I haven't thought... _our_ plans?"

She's reeling, desperately wishing she could take hold of the words she had spoken, shove them back down her throat where they would never be heard. It's too late now, she knows it's too late.

"Yeah, I figured we could spend some time on Earth. Maybe-"

"You want to spend it together?"

It's not like him to interrupt. Avory bites her tongue, her entire body stiffens. The logical part of her brain hears the hope in his voice, feels the eager way in which he holds her close, like if he loosens his grip she'll fly away. The irrational part, the part of her full of doubt, hears the hesitation, the surprise, the accusation. She hates that part, the part that makes her shrink away from what he makes her feel. She hates that it has such control over her.

So, like she always does, she fights.

"Yes."

One word is better than none.

Kaidan is pleased, so it seems. He's on top of her before her mind can process how they came to be, her arms wrapped around his back, one of his hooked around her waist, the other tangled in her hair. His face is inches from hers, just far enough that she doesn't go cross-eyed. He smiles, the scars around his mouth stretching with the curve of his lips and she can't stop the grin from spreading across her own lips. He's so damn cute when he smiles.

"Listen, Shep – Avory, I...I want you, I want this to be real."

She opens her mouth to speak, but the words won't come. She wishes she had a way with words, but it's impossible to string together the right letters to tell him that she wants that too; the syllables to tell him she wants more, she wants everything, are caught on her tongue. The words to explain to him how deeply she cares simply don't exist.

One hand leaves his back, slides along his neck, her thumb strokes the scruff growing along his jaw, just below his ear. "Me too."

Fire lights in Kaidan's eyes and his smile returns in full force until he claims her lips with his own. He tastes of salt and smoke, dried sweat on his lips from their first time, whiskey on his tongue from a shared bottle; the combination is intoxicating. His hand slides over the slope of her ass and squeezes, sends a shockwave of desire through her body. She lifts her leg, hooks it over his hip and they share a moan against each other's lips as the shift in position allows his length to settle against her.

With another squeeze of her ass and a roll of his hips, he pushes inside and she gasps into the kiss. Their first time was frenzied, hard pressed lips, fervent hands, a desperate shedding of clothes; their actions rushed in the aftermath of months of flirting, dancing around each other, secretly wanting but forbidden. This time is different. He moves slow and sweet inside her, taking his time, filling her completely. Every thrust sends chills through her body, the drag of him on each withdrawal brings her to a cliff's edge, her breath hitched, waiting desperately for him to fill her again.

Pressure builds within, but it's not the usual coil of energy low in her abdomen, it's in her chest, much too high to be an orgasm. Her breath is shallow and rapid, yet her ribs stretch painfully with each breath, the pressure growing until she swears she is going to burst. She breaks the kiss, desperate for air, but Kaidan holds her closer still; he cradles the back of her head in his palm, his forehead pressed against hers.

Her own eyes are wide when she looks into his, and in them she finds all the same emotions she always does; concern, intrigue, admiration, lust, but there's a new intensity, a tenderness she had always noticed but magnified somehow, boring into her soul.

 _Love._ The idea dances at the edge of her mind, then takes center with big bold letters, and suddenly there is no denying. Within those four letters are all the words she struggled to form, simplified to their truest meaning. It's the reason her chest swells, why her heart beats so rapidly every time she sees him. It's so obvious now that she doesn't know how she hasn't recognized it before; it's always been there, pooled behind amber eyes, hiding behind his self control, trapped by regulations.

Overwhelmed, she closes her eyes, buries her face into his neck. Her nostrils are filled with the scent of him, musk made of sweat, spice, eezo and whiskey. She digs her nails into his back, pulls him as tight against her as she can manage, clinging desperately to the one thing, the one person, who can ground her.

Every part of her feels as if she's floating. She's standing on the precipice of the galaxy, unsure if she should jump, gazing down on a new frontier and she's afraid, more afraid than she's ever been. Taking this leap can destroy her in a new way, a way she never considered. If she chooses to give herself over, there's no guarantee she won't end up a puddle of gore at the bottom, chewed up and spit out by whatever this new threat may hold.

"Hey," Kaidan whispers against her cheek. His movements slow to a halt save for his hand, which slips around to cup her cheek, his thumb guiding her chin up until she can meet his gaze. She knows her eyes are glistening, knows he's worried. "are you okay?"

His voice is so soft, raspy from shortness of breath and drenched in concern, his brows knit together. Pinned beneath his gaze she feels more exposed than she's ever been, vulnerable in a way she's never experienced. But wrapped in his arms, his bare flesh searing against her own, it feels good, it feels right. She feels safe. Lost in his eyes, she's ready to jump over the edge, ready to let all of her be swept away by this new emotion. She's ready to put her life in his hands in an entirely new way.

But she's never been good with words. So she swallows and nods, blinks back the emotion overflowing from her eyes, and lets her lips curl into a smile that quickly takes over, spreads from cheek to cheek. Kaidan's expression twists above her, switching from concern to disbelief, and then his lips arc in a smile to match her own. Her chest swells again; of course he recognized the look in her eye, of course he knew exactly what she was feeling without having to say a word. He can finally see his feelings reflected in her own eyes.

Kaidan's hand slides to the back of her neck and his mouth crashes against hers, their smiles fading only when their lips meet. He's moving inside of her again, and Avory makes a noise of surprise against him, something between a moan and a sigh. She relinquishes control, gives in to the tension building in her chest, opens herself completely knowing that Kaidan feels the same, that his love is no threat, that he is everything she never knew she wanted.

She's never been kissed like this before, so deep, so passionately, so full of love. Every roll of their hips a plea for more, driven by the need to be as close as possible, every part of them connected. Every parting of their lips is a silent declaration, _I love you_. Every tightened embrace is a promise, _no matter what happens, I'm not going anywhere._


End file.
